I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I think I just sharted jello shots
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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