sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
