I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
