sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
