im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
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He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
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I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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