I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize