On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
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After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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