Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize