glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize