dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
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That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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