I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
