His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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