i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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