I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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