can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize