just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
