I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
