you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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