Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
