but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
