Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
