Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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