I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
