This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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