giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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