so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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