sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
