i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She bit a glass in half.
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If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
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i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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