Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
