i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Randomize
