Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize