Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
