im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
