I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
