At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
