i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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