Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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