I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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