is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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