I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize