As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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