they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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