Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize