you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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