I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You're like the curious george of whores
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
