Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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