Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
