Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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