Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
