I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
