you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
