idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
