don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
