Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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