I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
