It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
