Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
