barbara walters just said penis...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
