sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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