i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
