This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
